Intelligence and the MechaFlora Monster
by FortunaStoryteller
Summary: Prince Marluxia is doomed to live as a half metal- half plant beast unless he can earn the love of another by the end of the century. But when the perfect young man he hoped for turns out to be a blond with an attitude problem, what's a guy to do? 411
1. Prince Marluxia

Here's a project of mine that I hope to finish soon. I was trying to come up with 411 fairytales and THIS was born.

Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, it would be rated MA for MAnsex (no Xemnas joke intended). If I owned Beauty and the Beast, Belle would have probably ended up with Xaldin. Since I own neither, I've decided to mesh them together in the following cross-over. Enjoy.

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**Prologue: Prince Marluxia**

Once upon a time, in a world that never was, there was a beautiful and spoiled prince named Marluxia. He lived in a large and magnificent castle with his many friends; among which were his cousin (and thus his betrothed) Larxene and his best friend (and not so secret lover) Axel. To all those in nobility, he was kind and charming, because he gave them many gifts and threw so many elaborate and expensive parties around the year that eventually life at his castle became one never-ending festivity full of music, wine, and laughter.

To the many who were not so fortunate as to live in the upper class, Prince Marluxia was a cruel and selfish tyrant. He taxed the people of his lands viciously and while they starved without proper welfare from their monarch, he cast his wealth away for the benefit of the nobility and his own pleasures.

One night, during a particularly wild revel, Marluxia became intoxicated and ended up in a heated make-out session on his throne with Axel while Larxene watched. This was all very common-place and all very fun until one of Marluxia's servants came rushing over.

"What is it?" Marluxia growled, frightening the poor butler (for he treated his servants worse than peasants).

"F-forgive me f-f-for interrupting milord...there's a g-girl at th-the door...sh-she says she won't leave un-un-until you s-s-s-see her."

On a more sober occasion, Marluxia would have ordered that the guards forcibly remove her and let that be that. But on that night of one too many drinks, the prince had a different state of mind.

"Is she cute?" He asked the servant. The butler was taken back, but honestly answered,

"Yes, milord...?" Marluxia untangled himself from Axel (who was quite unhappy about the interruption), straightened out his clothes, and then gracefully swept down the hall to the front door. Behind his back, Larxene quickly took the place he was just in with Axel. When Marluxia reached the front doors he saw, standing in the cold and rain, a young maiden with golden hair and a very dirty (but very thin and very white) dress, modestly covering herself with her arms. He smiled, but that smile made her shake with fear.

"Prince Marluxia..." She addressed him as she curtsied with one hand (the other shielded her body from Marluxia's eyes) "I have traveled from the village on the other side of the forest, and I haven't had anything to eat in days. If you could only spare me a few table scraps, maybe shelter until the rain stops, I will be eternally in your debt..." He laughed, leaning in close enough for her to smell the rank of alcohol on his breath.

"Mmm, well what would I get for this hospitality?" He asked, his speech slurred and menacing, "It is quite rude of you to come interrupt my party."

"I have nothing of value," she softly whispered, "I came with only myself."

Marluxia grinned wider, he was pleased to see that she was more than 'cute', she was unbelievably pretty for a peasant, and even better she was so very...

...vulnerable.

"That will do." He said as he pulled her inside. "Come here, little maid, I'm hardly the monster people make me out to be! You will eat our food and sleep in the best bed in the palace!"

Her face was hopeful and bright,

"Really? Oh, thank you, my prince!"

He picked a wine goblet from a table and offered it to her,

"Yes, why don't you have something to drink? And another, and another..." She took the goblet in her hands and took a sip. Marluxia leaned over and said into her ear, "...and another, and another...and then you get to sleep in the best bed in the castle..." he slowly licked the cartilage, "...mine."

The goblet dropped. She looked at him in the eye, neither sad, nor resigned, nor frightened...

...but really, REALLY pissed off.

_"You dare"_ she shouted, her voice now loud and commanding, _"you dare to make such a vulgar request of me?"_

Marluxia took a step back, but then became angry at her defiance and grabbed her hands at the wrists.

"You dare to defy my commands?! I am the prince here, I will order whoever I so choose and if I decide that I want you, then I will **get** you, no questions asked. Now follow me upstairs or I will throw you back to the streets."

The sound of the peasant girl slapping the prince across the face echoed through the hall. The musicians stopped playing, the dancers stopped dancing, Axel and Larxene stopped having their intimate moment, and everything was going to Hell.

Suddenly, the peasant girl was not so...peasant-like. The traces of filth and water evaporated off her skin and dress, her body began to radiate a bright light, but Marluxia only noticed how she began to levitate three feet off the ground.

_"I am the White Witch, Namine. You, Marluxia, have been judged._"

There was a gasp from around the room; true there was little known about this White Witch, but anyone who glowed and floated obtained immediate respect and fear from any crowd. Marluxia dropped to his knees, sobering himself considerably.

"Forgive me! I'm sorry, I did not know..."

_"To late!" _said the witch, _"Had you known, you would not have acted as such, but that is because your facade of kindness is reserved for those in power. You rob your people of their food and money for your frivolous wants and personal gain, as guardian of this land I cannot allow such a monster to rule it." _Marluxia was transfixed by fear, he looked up in sincerest apology in hopes she would change her mind.

"Don't kill me!" he begged, "Have mercy!"

_"People have died by the scores where you could have prevented their deaths! Mercy is the only thing you haven't shown to them!"_ The light was growing brighter, angrier, a concentration of it formed around her hands, bringing forth a sketchpad and some charcoal. _"You think that because of your status and your beauty you can act like I monster. Now I will make you a monster inside and out." _She put the charcoal to the paper and glared down at Maruxia. _"Your personality is like a thorny brier, you ensnare people and then bleed them dry."_ With the blurry movement of her hand across the paper, Marluxia felt the sensation of having small bugs crawling around in his skin. He looked at his arms and realized they weren't insects, they were **plants** growing out of his arm, embalming him with thorns and vines, breaking in and out of his skin while a small pink flower bud grew out of the back of his neck, until he was essentially a humanoid plant. People screamed and ran away from him in panic. Marluxia screamed, from the indignity of it all and the agonizing pain. Namine was far from finished. "_Your heart is cold, hard, and uncaring; much like iron."_ Metal plates jutted out every which way, forming themselves into a hard exoskeleton that resembled a disturbing cross between a man and a winged insect. Marluxia's new body towered over everyone, he was at least three times the height of a normal man. By now, the terrified nobles were running into the rain. _"The only work you have ever done is destructive work, so why have hands when weapons would suit you better?_" His hands morphed into giant curved blades. Marluxia cried out to Namine,

"Please, no more!"

_"That is the cry of the starving orphans! That is the cry of the battered widows! The wronged farmers! The cheated craftsmen! 'No more! No more!' But they have done no wrong, you deserve what you get!"_ Most of the party guests had left, but the door was still jammed from all of the bodies trying to escape. Marluxia turned to them, approached them with desperation and uncontrolled movement.

"Don't go, please! Help me! My friends, please!"

"_Who are your friends here Marluxia? Were they here for you, or were they here for your money? Prove to me that there is one person here who honestly loves you and I will remove the curse."_

He quickly turned to his throne and called out,

"Larxene, you're my fiancée! You love me, don't you?!"

She sneered to mask her terror,

"Not on your life, cousin. Arranged marriages aren't love, they're politics." He turned to Axel,

"You're my lover, please say you feel something for me!"

"Sorry Marly, it's been fun, but I'm not stickin' around for...!" In his rage Marluxia swung his right blade into the spot that would have killed the red-haired man if he hadn't dived out of its path at the last moment. Realizing the present danger, Larxene grabbed Axel's hand and they made a run for it, jumping out of the first-floor window and out of castle grounds without looking back. They lived happily ever after together and were never seen from again.

"_What a surprise."_ It clearly wasn't. "_You haven't a friend in the world, nobody loves you."_ The monster thrashed around the empty ballroom, slicing though tables and decorations and other such things. "_There is no other way to learn this lesson, Marluxia. I intend to give you a chance to return to your former self, but it is a difficult test. For a hundred years you will remain here, during that time, the flower on you will grow. If you find love and can be loved in return, the flower will bloom and you will be human again. But, if at the end of a hundred years, you do not open your heart to love, the flower will die and so will you. This is the burden you must bear, to live as a beast for acting like a beast. You must change for the better, or perish for your arrogance." _She closed the sketchpad and disappeared.

Marluxia struggled to maneuver to the giant gold-framed mirror he had hung vainly in the ballroom. He looked at the alien creature, he hated the image that stared back at him. His blade was swiftly driven through the glass.

"Larxene didn't love me, Axel didn't love me" he lamented, trying to move with his new form, "nobody loved me when I was human. Who could love me like this?"

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My computer's been acting funny lately, so I might not get the next chapter in soon. But a few reviews might magically make the technical difficulties vanish. 


	2. More than this Provincial Life

Snow day for me today, here's the next installment of Intelligence and the Mecha Flora Monster. But first, I have a question: can anyone guess what Marluxia looks like? If you've played the games, you know what his new body looks like.

I own nothing, but I had fun with this anyway.

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**Chapter One: More than this Provincial Life**

After nearly a century without a monarchy, life went on rather well for the peasantry; the towns replaced the need for a monarch with mayors that worked to ensure the safety and security of their towns. The mayors were generally well liked by the people, and helped the flow of economy, acted as a town judge to make sure the rules were upheld, and kept the morals and _traditions _of the town afloat.

One such mayor was a wise man named Ansem. He was kind, selfless, and honest, and followed a line of good and important men, some of which were previous mayors. The people loved him, they looked up to him and thought he could do no wrong. The only mistake people would ever think he made...

Was having a son like Vexen.

"Father!" Vexen called through the house, "I'm going to town. Expect me back in a few hours." Ansem looked up from his paperwork, spread out on the table with his breakfast, and asked,

"What do you need?"

"I'm going to the bookstore, then I'm going to buy some materials to test a hypothesis I've formulated, and before I return home I need to collect some specimen from the pet store, all of which should only cost me two hours of my day."

The maid clearing the breakfast table audibly groaned.

"With all due respect sir, if he causes another explosion I'm not cleaning frog insides off the ceiling again." she said, a slight twitch in her eye and the corner of her mouth.

"Tifa, if he asks you to do something like that again, I give you permission to knock him upside the head and tell him to do it himself. The things he plays with just get more and more bizarre."

"With all due respect sir," the maid ventured, "do you think Vexen is...well?"

Ansem laughed. It was a hollow laugh, a quiet laugh, an almost downright _nervous_ laugh.

"Of course!" He said cheerfully. "Vexen will shape up to be a proper little uke before we know it!" Neither of them believed it, they both knew Vexen would always be rather...odd.

As Vexen walked through town, he didn't pay close attention to the people around him, because things didn't vary much in their little town: everyone was trying to find, impress, or show off a mate. There were many men who courted pretty women, and there were men who courted the pretty men, and pretty women who courted fellow pretty women. The kingdom was unique in that it created laws that protected homosexual men and women and incorporated them into the traditions of the kingdom, thus eradicating the epidemic of homophobia forever (these laws were, in fact, passed two-hundred years ago by a former king who was coincidentally the grandfather of Prince Marluxia).

Therefore, homosexuals had rules and traditions to follow for social acceptance, which is why Vexen was considered very unusual.

"Oh look," said one passer-by to a fellow pedestrian, "there goes _Vexen_. I hear he's refusing to be courted by anyone and everyone."

"Who would want to court _him?_" asked the companion, "he doesn't even act like an uke: no sense in fashion, he isn't cheerful at all, and on top of all that, he's _ugly_."

"Maybe his nurse dropped him on his head?"

"Maybe he got mutated by his own 'experiment'?"

Another reason Vexen didn't pay close attention to the people was because the people were loud gossips.

"He's so cold! He won't talk to anyone, let alone try and be courted by a seme!"

"Vexen just thinks he's too good for us, being Ansem's son and all."

"And those books! Ukes shouldn't bother with books and the like, see what they're doing to his brain? Making him think of all sorts of crazy things, not seeing what's important in life: a good partner and a good house."

"If he wore some make-up, maybe he wouldn't be so...so plain."

Vexen trained his ears to become selective listeners; the noise that reached him was senseless babble. Ironically, all they talked about was senseless babble.

The only person he could connect to on any level was the bookstore owner, Xaldin, who was a fellow uke of unconventional standards; his seme was Xigbar, a likable but slightly eccentric blacksmith who Vexen didn't meet very often. The fact alone that Xaldin ran a store was considered a strange practice: ukes were expected to keep house while semes handled supporting their partners. In many ways, ukes of both genders were treated like heterosexual women: except that in Het relationships women were given the sacred role of bearing children, while ukes in Yaoi and Yuri relationships were treated like maids and sex objects. And while Xaldin was a very handsome man, ukes were supposed to be small, lithe, and cute. People thought it was funny to see an uke towering over his seme, but since Xaldin and Xigbar time and time again proved that they could hold their own against the ne'er-do-wells of the town in bar fights, street fights, and any other kind of fights, they received minimal harassment for their actions.

"Good morning Vexen." Xaldin said without looking up from his book.

"Good morning Xaldin. Did the new books come in yet?"

"I didn't unpack them yet, they're in the back." Vexen masked his excitement with his usual indifference, but could not help walking double-time to the large boxes. He opened them like presents on Christmas day and sorted through the novels and cookbooks to find what he was looking for: knowledge. There was always something to be had in Xaldin's book store that explained to Vexen how the world worked, which inspired him to ask questions, which inspired him to find answers. He read up on every subject he could find: biology, mathematics, psychology, sociology, chemistry, mechanics, astronomy, and physics. He loved learning more than anything in the world, and despite his self-disciplined and cold exterior, he felt an immediate sort of joy whenever he found something he could make a hypothesis out of.

"Xaldin...tell me this is what I think it is." Vexen looked down at his find in awe.

"Do you need to be pinched to make sure you're not dreaming?" The young scholar glared at Xaldin, who snickered behind his book. "But yes, it's real, knock yourself out."

Vexen allowed himself to smile and traced his hands over the cover, "This is the monograph of Prof. Xehanort's study of human emotions...where on Earth did you find it?"

Xaldin gave him a mysterious smile and shrugged, "Oh, I have my ways. I had a feeling you'd be interested in getting your hands on his work."

"I've read the compendium..." Vexen said, still gazing at the book, "but I never thought I would get to see the actual book...how much is it?"

"For you, free of charge."

Vexen looked at him in amazement and said,

"You're joking. Books like this cost a king's ransom."

"I needed to give you a present, since Xigbar and I will be out of town for your eighteenth birthday."

Vexen packed the other books away and gently placed the treatise in his bag.

"Where are you going?"

"Well, since this town is too small to have an orphanage, we have to travel to the next town over, there's one owned by two young women... Aerith and Yuffie, I think."

"Ah...well, congratulations then." By principle, Vexen didn't think too highly of children, but he knew through many conversations that Xigbar and Xaldin had wanted to adopt for a long time.

"It's a pity though," Xaldin said, "they aren't receiving enough money and they're afraid they won't be able to keep the establishment running for much longer. But even though I wish I could help, we only have enough money to support a family of three, or maybe four, and that's with both of us working. Things are going downhill, businesses are loosing money, I feel that our state might find itself in yet another depression sometime very soon."

"And the bookstore?"

Xaldin laughed reassuringly,

"I won't go down without a fight. This place will be open for a long time yet."

The young man looked in his bag, at the expensive present he just received, and felt terribly guilty. But unfortunately, he knew neither Xaldin nor Xigbar would accept any sort of monetary gift in return. He was snapped out of those thoughts when Xaldin said, "I was just wondering, but have you been at all...interested in any of the town's young men?"

"No."

"Thought so." He sighed. "Vexen, you might think it best to be careful. For whatever reason, Ansem hasn't been harping the idea on you, but nevertheless, ukes are expected to be married by eighteen."

Vexen raised his eyebrow and inwardly twitched.

"When were you and Xigbar married then?"

"Nineteen," Xaldin responded with straight face, "because we're rebels like that."

In fact, Ansem hadn't been pressing the idea because there were other, more pressing issues at hand, and he didn't want to think about it too much. True, Vexen had scared off every man who had come to court with his experiments and frigid attitude. But what was also true, and unbeknownst to Ansem, was that not a single one of the men who courted his son actually _liked_ him; what they liked was the idea of inheriting heaps of money from Ansem as dowry. Vexen could see through their falsehood: he detested their half-hearted 'wooing' and ridiculous attempts at romance. It was obvious to Vexen that the men of the town weren't after a life partner but a large profit, but it was not so obvious to his father, who assumed that Vexen was simply being spoiled and playing hard-to-get. Whenever he tried to confront his son about the matter, the boy would stomp off to his room and with a characteristically teenage squawk of "You don't understand me!", slam his door and not re-appear for hours on end; Ansem didn't know what to understand, and Vexen never explained what he needed to understand, because Ansem never asked and, frankly, did not _want _to know.

But to Ansem's dismay, Vexen's rite of passage was fast approaching, and Vexen needed a seme to take care of him. The only way the mayor could think himself out of the situation was to stop playing Mr. Nice Guy and pull out the ultimate weapon in his parental arsenal: Arranged Marriage.

He asked around for handsome, wealthy, strong-willed bachelors who seemed like they would be able to handle the cold glare and hot temper of his son. The search seemed at first very tedious: there were fifty seme bachelors in town. But the search turned out to be quite straightforward: forty-nine of them had been previously rejected by Vexen.

There was a knock on the door. Tifa answered while Ansem waited in the sitting room.

"A Mr. Luxord Caviera to see you, sir."

"Show him in." Ansem responded, slightly anxious but far from showing it. Luxord entered the room, dressed sharply, well-groomed, and prepared to make a good first impression, exactly like all the other men Vexen had turned down.

"Good morning, Mayor, it's good to see you again." Ansem bade him sit down and make himself comfortable before he said to the newcomer,

"Let me get right to the point Luxord. We have discussed before my son's...reluctance to find a partner. Now, I hate to put you in this position, but I care deeply for Vexen's happiness and therefore I need to find him someone who will take a firm approach to bringing him out of his...strange habits, and into a stable relationship. Someone who is able to...to..."

"In essence, someone who would be able to show him that there is more to life than sitting around with books and playing with...whatever he's using for those 'experiments' of his?" Luxord answered calmly, successfully sounding like the answer to his prayers.

"Precisely! Now, Vexen should be returning home in a few minutes, and when he comes in I'll give you two a little time to talk."

"To make sure he likes me?"

"Oh, heavens no! He's getting no choice in the matter, I just want you to meet and get to know each other before the wedding."

"Which is?"

"In two days!"

"And the dowry?"

"Six hundred thousand munny."

Luxord blinked. He leaned forward and asked with wide eyes.

"How much now?"

"Six hundred thousand munny. Is that enough?"

He smiled his most charming smile and said it was plenty.

When Vexen returned home he carried his bag containing Door to Darkness, the study of the human psyche written by Professor Xehanort, and a small wooden box. The lid was lined with air-holes.

"Vexen!" Ansem appeared through the parlor door, stepping in front of him as to block his way upstairs. "I need to speak with you. It's very urgent."

"Unless you wish to tell me that the well water has turned to blood, the crops have all died and there's no more food, or the first signs of the Apocalypse have begun to emerge, I'm afraid I don't think anything you say to me would be that urgent. Good day, father."

Ansem refused to let his son throw his future away for whatever he held in that box. He grabbed Vexen by the ear and dragged him into the parlor; Vexen screamed the entire way.

"Vexen,Luxord,Luxord,Vexen.Sonthismanistheoneyouaregoingtomarrynoquestionsaskedseeyouatdinner." Ansem slammed the door on Vexen's face as he attempted to leave. He locked it for good measure, then looked for Tifa so they could prepare the first-aid kit...just in case.

The young scientist looked at the seme, who was sitting with his legs crossed while his lips curved up in amusement as his eyes appraised Vexen. Then Luxord frowned, obviously not liking what he saw. Vexen banged on the door with one hand while the other held the little box, he tried the door handle and found it was locked. He looked back at Luxord, who was standing behind him.

"Vexen, is it? My name is Luxord Caviera, and I am the _lucky_ man you are going to marry."

"If you, sir," Vexen hissed, "happen to be the same 'Luxord Caviera' who carouses in bars with all manner of hoodlums, takes to bed every man that catches your fancy, and gambles your life away in cards and dice, I have to say I am not interested in the least." With that, he stormed to the other side of the room, where there was another door that led to the hall. It too was locked. The only way out, to Vexen's annoyance, was through the window that Luxord had taken to standing in front of. Still smirking he said,

"Rule one of gambling, love, is never play a game that isn't rigged to your favor." Vexen tried to formulate another method of escaping, but his mental diagrams were coming up blank, so he only snapped back,

"First off, I'm not your love. Second, if you play rigged games then you are a cheat, and that makes you worse than just an honest gambler."

Luxord cocked his head back and responded,

"Rule two is there's no such thing as an honest gambler."

"I'm not going to marry you."

The seme frowned. He knew Vexen was standoffish, but he was quickly becoming a nuisance.

"You heard your father, there's nothing you can do about it. Now I can be a kind man, Vexen, but my kindness is earned by obedience, something you have not been disciplined in, or so I hear. Your father requested that I not be gentle in curving your actions, and I believe you need some...direction as to where your place is."

"Not with you, if that's what you mean."

Luxord advanced and Vexen stepped back until he found himself in a corner. He felt the oncoming rush of adrenaline as his 'fight or flight' responses kicked in; heightened senses, tightened muscles, and all other instinctual things. While Vexen developed an ability to ward off some of the 'useless' instincts he felt he had, he was very glad his body came pre-equipped for handling uncomfortable situations like the one he was in.

"Your place," Luxord snarled at his cornered his uke-to-be, "_is_ in fact, with me. I refuse to be frightened off by a gangly, snobby, ugly little book worm like you when there's six hundred thousand munny on the line. You will marry me."

Vexen's eye twitched a little. He knew his father wanted to get rid of him, but he didn't know he was _that_ desperate.

"Mr. Caviera, I am at a disinclination to acquiesce your request." Vexen opened the lid of the box. "That means 'no'."

Luxord jumped away as Vexen dumped the contents of the box on him: a score of little field mice Vexen had bought in a pet store to be used for his experiments on animal behavior. They began crawling over Luxord, who was too busy trying to get the mice off him to know that Vexen had unlocked the window and was running into the forest as fast as he could, his bag swinging wildly behind him. Luxord called for help, but the seventeen year old scientist had already disappeared into the forest, not stopping, not thinking of stopping, until he cleared enough distance that the adrenaline wore off.

He then realized he was completely lost.

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A review a day keeps writer's block at bay. 


	3. Into the Dark Black Forest

A big thanks to all the review patrons of this story. Call me an attention whore, but postitive words really help me get enthusiastic about writing, especially with long pieces like this. vv Pretty soon I'll be off in the big scary world of novel-writing and I won't get a nice pat on the back for every chapter completed, but hopefully that time won't carry the same stress as these highschool years.

Still haven't had anyone try to guess Marluxia's form. Really guys, don't the pink blades give it away?

I still don't own anything, but at the very least I wish I could say something clever about not owning anything. Oh well, maybe next chapter.

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**Chapter Two: Into the Dark Black Forest**

The woods seemed to stretch on forever, Vexen kept walking forward since he didn't want to back-trace his steps. 'If I go back there,' he thought, 'I'll be forced to marry that loathsome man my fool of a father picked out for me. Did he not even bother to do a background check for Luxord, or did he just not care?' That thought made Vexen a little uneasy. Sure he gave his father many a headache over the years, but he didn't want to think that his own father would get on his knees and beg the first scoundrel to come to his door to marry his only son. And for _six-hundred-thousand munny!_ That was no dowry, that was a bribe. Vexen sighed. So, he was worth so little that any future husband of his had to be compensated for the drudgery of having him as a mate?

"No matter," he said harshly to himself, "I'm not going back. No more of their intolerance, their disrespect, or their ignorance! I'll find somewhere else to live." He nodded in firm resolve, then continued his trek through the thick woods. A few minutes later, he stopped and thought aloud, "But where am I going? The forest has to end sometime, but then where will I be?" He pulled out Door to Darkness and flipped through to find everything that was listed about Professor Xehanort. "He died about fifty years ago, but his hometown and alma mater must still be standing." The book said briefly:

_Little is known about Professor Xehanort. Not only is his place of birth a mystery but so is his first name._

Vexen groaned.

_Professor Xehanort studied metaphysics and psychology in the prestigious Hollow Bastion University._

"That's a start..." Vexen said, wondering where Hollow Bastion was.

_During his studies, he became interested in the way the 'heart' worked, and thus passionately studied all that he could about human emotions and their impact on the individual, the community, and the world. Immediately after he graduated from the university he became a teacher on its staff. His studies were published in __Door to Darkness__, the only book of his ever published. _

The young man sighed. "I know that," he muttered, "but what about locations? Dates?"

_After his book was published, there were many people offended by the controversy of his work, as well as the cynical view that human hearts begin and end in darkness. He was accused of insanity and was thrown into a psychiatric ward on campus for his own students to study and experiment on him._

Vexen twitched.

_During this time, Xehanort began work on a second book entitled __Kingdom Hearts__. Before its completion, it was found, confiscated, and destroyed, thus lost to us forever. In retaliation, Xehanort broke free of his cell and burned down the entire university, he himself perished in the fire. _

The blond shut the book, put it back in his bag, and resolved to find a new plan.

Without a general idea of where he was headed, Vexen continued on his straightforward path, wondering what he could do. There wasn't anything around him, just trees above his head and mud beneath his feet. He didn't like mud. The only songbirds to behold were crows, who occasionally passed overhead, and there were few animals on the ground or in the trees. Which was fine with him, he didn't like animals that weren't being scrutinized by him or were strictly domesticated, so the fewer the better. Wild animals made him...nervous. As he squelched through the mud and tried to find some sort of bearing, he found himself listening acutely for the sound of anything that could be hidden in the trees. Each time he turned to look because a foreign noise startled him, it was really some pesky squirrel or rabbit.

Suddenly a pair of chipmunks jumped in front of Vexen's path, which caused him to stumble and fall back on a rock and hit his head against a tree. That ensued a splitting headache and a pain in his leg; when he looked to inspect it, he found the edge of the rock had made a long cut that was gushing blood. If he were back home, he would have had his father and housekeeper on stand-by with a first aid kit. If he were back home, he also would have gotten uke-points for fainting.

When he came to, the wound was still there but the sun was not. Vexen cursed at his own foolishness, knowing he needed to find a way to bandage the wound before too much blood was lost, and tore off some of the material on his pants leg to stop the blood flow. He searched around for a large stick to lean on, but couldn't find anything that was not either too light, to heavy, or covered in bugs. He limped through the dark forest tired, dirty, and injured until he came across a small stream that cut across the forest floor. 'Finally, a bit of luck!' he thought as he sat by the edge and drank the cold water. He cleaned the sweat off his face, then proceeded to unwrap his make-shift bandage and clean the blood. Luckily, his leg was just scraped up a bit, he was a bit of a slow healer but it wasn't a grave injury, it just hurt a lot. Vexen considered taking a bath in the cold water, but instead removed Door to Darkness and began to read under the fractured light of the full moon.

By the time he reached the third chapter, he began to hear noises. He forced himself not to hear the rustle of the leaves on the all but windless night, and every time he began to think about looking around, he calmed himself with more reading. His leg was still hurting, so Vexen looked down to check the bandages and found the blood was leaking though and landing in the river. He put his book away and ripped off more material to stop the blood flow, by now he was feeling very tired and was very hungry. As he tied the new material on, he heard noises again. This time, to put his worries at rest and see that there was, in fact, nothing to be frightened over, he looked up and across the river, only to see something looking back. A great many somethings. A great many _hungry_ somethings, known to a calm Vexen as _lupes canis_, known to a frantic Vexen as _big trouble._

He put himself on auto-pilot and ran as fast as he could, holding his bag to him and trying not to scream in terror. The wolves followed, barking loudly and howling to the thrill of the hunt. Vexen did not think hunting was thrilling from his standpoint. He forced his legs to carry him as fast as they could go without stopping while he searched his mind for anything that could be used out of this situation.

'_I am a human, humans can think, humans __**are not prey**__ because they can think. What do I know about wolves? There was __**something**__ I read about how wolves hunt! Think! Think! Wolves hunt in packs, they can run up to sixty -five kilometers per hour in a chase and they pursue prey for... a thousand meters! I just need to keep running long enough and __**not trip**_

He had almost tripped over an above ground tree root, which only helped the wolves to gain. He sprinted off again, hoping he was near a thousand meters.

_What else?! There was something important... come on Vexen, you've got to remember! Oh right! Wolves hunt by surrounding their prey and cutting off their escape!_

A giant carnivore jumped in front of Vexen, who yelped and swung his bag around to smack the predator's snout before darting off in another direction. His leg was killing him, his energy was draining, he didn't know how much longer he would have to evade them or how soon he would simply collapse. In the distance, he saw a towering structure, an obscure place in the distance that was a ruin humans at one time inhabited. He ran to it, pushing himself for the final stretch of the chase, only to confront a gate; iron, tall, and chained. Vexen looked behind him to see that the wolves were starting to congregate and advance towards him. Vexen rattled the gates, and forced the doors to open as much as the chain would allow and slid through. He stood back while the wolves attempted to chew and bash at the gates, then give up and walk away.

Vexen breathed deeply and slowly, then approached the structure; a giant time-worn palace, overgrown with ivy and ominously decaying. The front door gave way easily (it fell over when he pushed it), and when Vexen stepped through the air was different (polluted by dust) and eerily uninhabited (except for the spiders and the mice). He trudged through the place, entering a desecrated throne room, or a foyer of some sort, filled with broken furniture and shattered decorations. A chandelier lay in pieces on the floor, a massive throne was hacked apart, a mirror looked like it had been hit with a heavy object. Most of the other rooms were undamaged except by time; like the sitting room that was perfectly preserved save for the dust. There was a large couch against the wall, which Vexen collapsed onto. Above him was a portrait; a young man with pink hair sat regally in a garden, next to his two closest and most trusted friends.

He woke up well into the next day, and though his first instinct was to look for something to eat, he found after searching through the kitchens that everything was well past its expiration date. But since Vexen was both starving and resourceful, he decided to check the gardens to see if there were any edible things growing, confident in his ability to recognize all the things that wouldn't poison him. He found his way out of the castle and stumbled into the massive gardens. It was hardly recognizable through all of the overgrown weeds and poorly kept plant-life, but it was a garden nonetheless. Vexen searched through strangled flowers and (occupied) undergrowth until he came across a godsend in the form of a ripe peach tree, which he devoured the fruits of so quickly he almost choked on a pit. But with his hunger finally gone, he was free to look about the place at his leisure.

"I wonder what happened here that caused everyone to leave?" he asked himself, "and why is there a castle in the middle of the forest that has gone unnoticed by everyone? Surely something this big couldn't have just vanished out of history forever..."

This he pondered while he explored the rest of the gardens. He noticed a large patio where many almost untouched pieces of furniture were spread out. "I suppose I could live here until I figure out something to do... I'm sure all I need is to dust a few of the rooms and tend to some of the edible plants to survive here..."

He fell over a weed-covered object on the ground, and when he tried to brush away the plants he cut his finger (he successfully fought the urge to put the dirty bloody finger in his mouth and instead tore off a bit of sleeve to wrap it with).

"It's a blade..." he muttered as he (carefully) removed the weeds from the object, "...there's a...giant...pink...blade on the ground. How strange, I wonder what it's for?"

When he cleared it all away, he noticed that the pink blade connected to a moss covered piece of iron. He raised his eyebrow and shrugged, "If this is a statue then I have no clue what it's supposed to be, but maybe it will make sense after all these intrusive weeds have been cleared." And clear them he did. This action helped Vexen uncover a metallic structure which included another scythe, a 'stinger' of some sort connected to a main body, which led up to what served as a 'head' which was composed of a long, beak-like protruding piece of iron and a carefully sculpted humanoid face hidden beneath a hood. "Peculiar..." he commented, "it still makes no sense, but it's interesting. And very rusty. I wonder what it was for?" He looked up and said, "Oh, I missed one" as he spotted a large pink flower on top of the...thing.

Exerting much more energy and many more tries than Vexen would have liked, he climbed up the metal contraption to where the flower was. He realized, when he clambered on top of the machine, that he had no idea what kind of flower it was. "I'd classify it as a rose," he mused, "but I've never seen a rose this big. If only I had my journal I could take notes on this..." he reached out and stroked the enormous rose-bud, and it shuddered. "It's touch-sensitive? Remarkable!" he exclaimed with discovery on his mind. Unfortunately for Vexen, but as was bound to happen, the flower was not the only thing to move, seeing as the rose happened to be connected to the 'peculiar metal device', the 'device' was rather 'touch-sensitive' as well. And so it moved, right under the hapless Vexen. Not just so unlucky that his new find turned into a nightmare, but that he actually fell off the machine and landed in front of the rising, _floating_ metal-flower beast as it raised its scythes into the air. Vexen's throat hurt from screaming and his legs hurt from running all of last night. He froze up as the unnatural creature moved its head with a loud _screech_ing noise and opened its metal eyelids more loudly and slowly than what was natural for eyelids. It looked down at Vexen. Vexen looked up at it.

"What, in the name of logic and common sense _is _this?" Vexen said, half in shock, half in scientific astonishment.

"_This_," the creature responded while its pink blades tapped the main body, "is the by-product of sheer foolishness. _You _are trespassing and I demand to know why."

Vexen hated his life. He hated how the father he hated wanted him to marry a man he hated which led him into an unmanned environment that he hated filled with mud and chipmunks which he hated and wolves that he _despised_ who chased him to a castle filled with dust, which he hated, and then into the gardens where he was confronted with a detestable mecha-flora monster who held the power of speech and a pair of pink instruments of death. He hated how, against his dignity and perseverance and strength of mind, he managed to find himself in situations he simply could not handle without loosing consciousness.

Thus, he fainted. Again. Dignity be damned, he fell into darkness with the image of the rusted metal face under the blinding sun etched in his brain.

* * *

...I'm sure Vexen faints some of the time. Not ALL the time, mind you, but I'm sure there are a good number of us that faint when they bleed profusely or see monsterous steel-plated creatures. I know I would for the second one. 

Vexen's dignity will make a comeback in the next chapter! Maybe.


	4. Something isn't there

I apologize for the delay, I was visiting my grandmother for a while and she lives a few hundred miles away from me.

I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but it keeps the plot going and I thought it best not to postpone the chapter any longer. 

In other news, I have learned the joys of html coding... my parents are computer science majors, so we figure it's in the blood. 

...I'm still going to be a writer though.

* * *

**Chapter Three: Something isn'tthere...**

He awoke on top of a soft bed, albeit a rather dusty and moth-eaten one, with the sun streaming into his eyes. When Vexen sat up, there was a pain in his back and blood on the quilt; when he hurried over to a mirror to inspect the damage, he saw that there was a large thin cut across his back. 

"It was from when I tried to carry you up here," said a voice from inside the room. "you couldn't possibly imagine how hard that was without hands. Be thankful I didn't slip on your neck." 

With slight anxiety, Vexen slowly turned around to see the strange machine resting on the ground of the needlessly large room. The hooded face stared like a statue, even though the features of it could move slightly; it occasionally blinked but even that movement caused the rusted metal to groan and screech like a thousand nails on a chalkboard. Even its voice was coupled with the cacophony of iron to iron. "But my blades are dull, which is why I didn't cleave you in half. Though I'm still wondering what was it in me to show mercy to trespassers..." Vexen winced as the machine slid the two blades against each other. "What is your name?" It asked.

"Vexen." He gave it without thought, more interested in figuring out how it was able to speak, what the purpose of it was, and who was the brilliant (and mad) scientist who created it.

"So...Vex-en..." The machine seemed to ponder the sound of the name, then narrowed its eyes and demanded, "what are you doing in my castle, commoner?"

Vexen snarled. He had been called many things over the years, some unfit to print, but he was not a commoner.

"I'm not a commoner!" 

"Are you of the nobility? No, I think not." The monster mocked, lips loudly curling into a smile. Vexen barred his teeth at the tone more than the insult, then relaxed his jaw and his entire face until he had his own look of smugness.

"I think your data-banks are obsolete. The noble class was destroyed a hundred years ago, along with the monarchy. The provinces of the kingdom are under the rule of their own governments. As the son and heir of Ansem the Wise, mayor of my home town, I can assure you I am not a 'commoner'." 

The creature got up suddenly, with a noise so powerful it forced Vexen to hold his hands over his ears.

"_What_ did you say about the monarchy! It couldn't have been destroyed!" The creature moved about in a sort of panic, saying to itself, "After all this happened, there should have been someone to take the throne..."

Vexen raised his eyebrow while the mecha-monster moved about and said to it,

"The monarchy died out when those next in line for the throne disappeared, died, or didn't conceive heirs. Then the people took matters into their own hands and elected government officials to handle political affairs. It works with a _lot_ of problems, but I'm sure it was better than the monarchy."

"LIES!" Shouted the monster. The echo lingered for half a minute before it landed back on the floor and drooped over. "Never mind," the creature said, "I'm sure the new system has its...benefits to the commoners. But...has it been a hundred years? That's how long I've been asleep?"

"Yes on all counts."

"And...now..." It stopped its thoughtful musing to snap at Vexen, "wait, you never told me what you were doing here! This is my castle, and I do not welcome thieves and vagabonds!"

Vexen looked up at the creature and walked forward, an air of defiance about him. "Look, you over-sized piece of rust, I've been engaged to the most loathsome man on earth for a dowry of six-hundred grand, spent all of yesterday in the woods, starved, bled, and suffered. I have been chased by a pack of wolves to this decrepit ruin, and now I am simply trying to stay in a place where I won't run into any more trouble. I'm not interested in your worthless junk: I. Don't. Want. To. Go. Home."

By the time he had finished his demi-rant, Vexen stood about twenty feet away from the monster. The creature looked at him, blinked its eyes and moved the blades across the top of the floor, then cleared the rest of the distance in a single bound. Vexen fell back as the monster's front spike came close to his nose. 

"I think I understand perfectly, Vexen. If you needed a place to stay, you could have just asked." It smiled, not like a smile fit for sealing a new friendship, but a smile fit for a scheme dawning upon him, a plan in formation, a lot more trouble than poor Vexen had bargained for. "I welcome you to stay with me; your home is my castle." 

Vexen nodded. Very quickly. 

"With that being said, I'll need to show you around. This," it spread its blades to their extent in a gesture to the room, "will be your bedroom. You are welcome to anything here, there should be clothes in the closest, and you can feel free to re-arrange things to your liking." Vexen followed it out the double doors and down the hallway. Luckily, everything was so large that the machine could comfortably hover down the corridors. "Here are the other guest-rooms, the drawing rooms, the dinning hall, the eastern parlor, are you getting all of this?" 

"More or less..."

"Try to keep up. The study is through those doors, here are some more guest rooms, and the master bedroom is mine, so stay out of it."

Vexen stopped and looked at the door to the master bedroom.

"How and why is it yours?" The machine turned around and said in such a way that if Vexen didn't know that machines simply weren't capable of such a range of imitated emotions, he would say the creature sounded...well, _huffy,_

"It's mine because it is. It's my personal place and I do not want it entered unbidden, do you understand?" Vexen nodded, secretly intrigued that the creature could act so convincingly human, but also a bit annoyed that the mechanism played the part perhaps _too_ well.

"What made everyone leave?" He asked while they passed down a long hallway.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Who created you?"

"No one 'created' me thank you very much!"

"Why aren't you answering my questions? I just want to know what happened here and who lived here, why is that so difficult for you!"

The blades swung around and landed on either side of Vexen, the monster came down to eye-level and hissed,

"Well, _maybe_ it's none of your _business_ what happened here a hundred years ago. _Maybe _I don't like talking about it because it's a little bit _painful_ for me. And _maybe_ you, Vexen, should stop asking stupid questions before you make a terrible error and _piss me off_."

In response, Vexen muttered dryly,

"Are there any questions that _aren't _stupid to you?"

"Why yes," the creature snorted indignantly, "you never asked me for my name."

"That's because it would have been polite to give it before you asked for mine...but fine. Whatever. What is your name, pray tell?" 

The mechanic beast retracted its weapons and said with an air of pride and a haughty sort of pleasure,

"My name is Marluxia."

"Marluxia..." Vexen repeated, adding just to spite him, "that's a stupid name."

"You _dare..."_

"Why yes, in fact, I do." They were both still for a moment, then Marluxia turned around and proceeded like nothing happened.

_Victory._ Vexen happily thought.

They continued down the pathways of the castle, Marluxia gave the tour without any further conversation. Coming out of one of the main hallways was an awkwardly placed corridor that was low to the ground and very narrow, dark, and had a contradictory plainness to it when compared to the rest of the castle.

"Where does that lead?" Vexen asked. Marluxia looked over and found that there was no chance the steel body could manage to fit through the small opening.

"I think..." Marluxia said, "that hallway leads to the servants' quarters. I've never been down there though." Vexen took a few steps down the hall, causing Marluxia to call out, "And where do you think you're going!"

"These rooms would be suitable for some experiments of mine. It's dark, secluded, and provides solitude. You don't get to bother me and I'll stay out of your way. I think it would be perfect for both of us." Of course, Vexen was only seventeen years old, thus he couldn't have known the preceding circumstances eighty-three years before he was born that led to the fact that Marluxia did _not_, in fact, want to stay far away from Vexen. Although Marluxia knew that his former lover was much _much_ more...aesthetically pleasing, this blond was the last possible hope fate provided him with before an unseemly demise. 

"Wouldn't you rather have a cleaner room?" Marluxia quickly asked.

"I'm _more _than capable of cleaning a few of the chambers for my purposes. Besides, I'm sure the servants' quarters are about as clean as any other dust consumed rat hole in this place."

"But wouldn't you rather first see the other rooms? Ones that are less out of the way?"

Vexen looked up at him quizzically and asked,

"Why are you so concerned with my choice of workplace?" Marluxia dropped the subject like it was on fire. He didn't want the young man to know what he was up to, but Vexen's insolence was going to drive him insane. The blond turned away from him, smirking, and strolled down the hallway out of Marluxia's reach like he owned the place. Marluxia secretly hoped that in the depths of the dark hallway there was a little mouse to frighten him and make him _wish _that he had a giant scythe wielding monster to save him.

But alas, no such terror came to Vexen, and he returned having found an ideal location for conducting experiments.

"It's an ideal location for conducting experiments," Vexen concluded, "and I'll be using them as such." Marluxia rubbed his blades against each other in warning of his rising anger.

"You think you can walk in here and claim whatever you want? This is _my_ castle and I am giving you sanctuary from the bottom of my heart! You are going to ask me before renovating any room in this castle for your purposes!"

Vexen took a few retreating steps from Marluxia's volume and concealed threat. But then he straightened his back and shoved down his anxiety towards the blades to snap back,

"You don't need the rooms, you can't even _fit_ in them!"

"I _know_."

"Then what is the problem!"

"I want you to ask me nicely."

And then there was dumbfounded silence. And then there was Vexen's dumbfounded reply.

"...What?"

"And by 'ask nicely' I mean beg. I'm getting weary of the liberties you have been taking from me, and I wish to be compensated for those grievances." True, it was not the best way to win his heart, but it was a way to keep him in line. Though a fallen prince, Marluxia was still a prince at heart and wanted nothing less than all Axel and Larxene had given him: obedience and devotion. He winced as he remembered what they had also given him: heaping portions of betrayal. But still, these circumstances weren't at all what Marluxia had been hoping for; the first few months of his cursed life were spent imagining up a wonderful scenario where a handsome young man of a noted lineage stumbles through his castle after loosing his entourage and is amazed at the magnificent castle and more so at the gleaming and tragic prince held prisoner within. There would be bells, fireworks, love at first sight, and the spell would be broken and Marluxia and the cute uke would live happily ever after with wealth and extravagance once more. Fin. Period. End of story. This was _not _how it was supposed to happen; after almost a full century after being turned inhuman the son of some obscure town official runs away from home without a penny to his name or any apparent redeeming qualities. Not only was Vexen wrong, the entire place was wrong: his castle was in ruins, the gardens were overrun with weeds, Marluxia himself was _rusting_. Oh the indignity of it all! He couldn't see himself going as far as to _like_ Vexen, how was he supposed to force himself to fall in _love_ with the pretentious little twit? The stupid kid wouldn't even follow orders! Marluxia was a _prince_ not a _servant_! "Do you really want those rooms Vexen? I don't hear begging."

"You're a _machine_. Made from human hands to be used for human needs."

"I am not!"

"You're made of _steel_. What else could you be!"

Marluxia paused for a split second and said, "Not just steel. I'm also made of plants. But I _wasn't _created by a human being and I _still _don't hear you begging to use my servants' quarters as a laboratory."

Vexen groaned and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger before giving a reluctant and shallow bow and asking,

"_Might _you be so kind as to allow me use of these rooms that you have no need for, O _gracious _host?" 

The iron beast laughed roughly and replied in all smugness, "Of course, Vexen my dear. See how easy that was?" 

_Victory._ Marluxia thought as Vexen sulkily followed him through the rest of the castle.

They had only just met and yet were so very far from liking each other. Far in a distant land, a woman in white tapped a pencil to her sketchpad nervously.

* * *

Like? Dislike? Tell me! I have no social life and nothing better to do that write fanfiction at odd hours of the night. 


	5. Getting to Know You

I'm very happy that this story has recieved so many positive reviews and concrit. I'm sorry that this update has taken a while, but I've been rather busy with school and original projects, plus another 411 story, currently in planning stages. I hope I have time for everything...

In other news, I've taken up Beta Reading, so if anyone wants a Beta for their Kingdom Hearts fanfiction, don't hesitate to ask!

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure, chapter four:

**Chapter Four: Getting to Know You**

Days passed in Marluxia's castle with a dismal amount of interaction. Every morning Vexen walked from his bed chambers down to the dark servants' quarters, growing quite content with his new freedom, while Marluxia found himself despairing every time Vexen slipped into the corridor and out of his grasp. The lord of the castle found himself constantly wondering how long he had until his centennial, and if there was any chance to woo the man who had fallen into his grasp. He was, of course, confident in his charm and grace, so he figured that winning Vexen over would be easier done than said. Of course, Marluxia had been confined to his castle for a near century, and thus could not have known about the blonde's impressive track record of fifty previously turned-down seme bachelors.

Vexen looked in the closet with the clothes Marluxia had left for him with a sort of dismay. He had found that though the clothes were more of less undamaged, and thankfully were in his size (although the previous owner was perhaps a few inches shorter than him), they were wholly impractical. All of them were made from rich, expensive materials that were dark colors like red and black; the man who had worn them previously was surely an uke because the clothes were made to flare at the hips and display skin in alluring patches. Vexen strongly disliked them but, as his own clothes were tattered and dirty, he supposed they would do. He donned the garments, tied his hair back, and began the morning trek to the servants' quarters to begin the replication of the experiments as featured in chapter thirteen of Professor Xehanort's Door to Darkness.

The young academic saw Marluxia standing by the entranceway, still as a statue. Vexen raised his head up and said to the mechanical monstrosity,

"Good morning Marluxia." The machine smiled, looking down at Vexen in some sort of mild amusement.

"_Bonjour _Vexen, how are you today?" Vexen raised his eyebrow but responded (as hardwired courtesy demanded),

"Fine, and you?"

"I'm doing _splendidly_," this of course was an utter lie, Marluxia was terrified at the prospect of dropping dead at any moment, as well as peeved at his noisy and rusting body, "are enjoying your stay in my castle?"

"Yes, quite. Now, if you'll excuse me, there is a theory I have been meaning to test and I would like to get to that..."

Marluxia hastened to block the entranceway, successfully infuriating Vexen. "_Marluxia_" the younger man snapped, "get out of my _way_."

"I don't think so," Marluxia said, barely holding onto courtesy and kindness, "today, I was hoping you would accompany me in the gardens. You spend to much time in your lab, it can't be healthy for you."

" I have the right to decide what I spend my time doing, and the benefits that researching in the dark does to my mind more than makes up for the negative consequences to my body . Besides, you can hardly call that mess of weeds in the courtyard a garden." That was a point Marluxia couldn't argue with, but yet Vexen's tone was so_ irksome, _so horribly condescending and similar to Marluxia's own voice, that the beast snarled fiercely at the young man and stood steadfast at the entranceway.

"The gardens might have seen their better days," Marluxia retorted with his princely dignity, "but it's still a nicer place than the servant's quarters. Besides, it's not like you're dressed for another day in your lab, so why not take a break, a breath of fresh air, and you could go back tomorrow?" That was the ticket, Marluxia thought, show him that you could be reasonable without giving in.

"Stand aside Marluxia."

The blades scraped against the floor as Marluxia's annoyance began to surface.

"Come out with me for a few hours, and I'll leave you to your experiments without any interference...at least, for a few days." In these early stages of uke-wooing, space was vital. Reel him in, let him go, reel him in again, and eventually he'd swim over on his own accord (of course, seeing as there was a time limit, the wooing stages would have to be rushed ever so slightly).

Vexen glared at his host, stiffened his back and tilted his head up in an over-pronounced defiance, before suddenly exhaling and turning swiftly down one of the grand hallways. Perplexed, Marluxia followed Vexen with his eyes, watching the blond storm down the corridor with his fists at his sides and his outfit rustling and billowing behind him.

Marluxia looked carefully at the outfit, it was one of Axel's old ones from when they were lovers, a single piece garment that could be easily pushed off at Marluxia's convenience when they were alone. It had once served as a temptation; the long sleeves covered the arms but kept the shoulders half-bare, the neckline was hardly a scandal but the back was cut almost to the base of the spine. In essence, a dress, but it was styled that it appeared too masculine to be a dress; no ruffles for lack of breasts, and wasn't especially tight but yet form-fitting. True, it flared at the hips, but that was because Axel's hips were prominent enough that they needed to be displayed and flaunted when he was hanging on Marluxia's arm. Oddly enough, Vexen's hips seemed to fit the garment perfectly, and though red and black were _definitely _not his colors, Marluxia could see him fitting into something in green or light-blue.

The subject of his gaze pivoted sharply and barked down the hallway,

"I thought you were attempting to bring me out to the gardens? If that wasn't your intent, then will you stop wasting my time?!"

With a quick and charming apology, Marluxia followed Vexen outside to the gardens. Though unimpressive and ugly as always, the strangled flowers filled Marluxia with hope: Vexen had decided to listen to him, instead of throwing a hissy-fit and storming off to his room. It was obvious to Marluxia that he had won the boy over wholly and without a doubt. Or Vexen was really bored. Nevertheless, the former prince attempted light conversation with Vexen, only to receive rapid answers from his companion:

"It's a lovely day, isn't it?" Marluxia would ask sweetly.

"It's too hot." Vexen would reply.

"...You would rather it be snowing?" The beast would inquire.

"It's _summer," _Vexen would snap, "it can't snow whether I'd prefer it or not."

"I'm not asking if it _could_ snow in summer, I'm asking if you _enjoy_ cold or warm weather more."

"Neither, I enjoy being indoors at room temperature."

Marluxia would stop and sigh in exasperation before switching topics.

"You know, those clothes fit you very well. You had good taste in selecting them." A comment spoken with a whisper of flirtation, but an overtone of an innocent observation.

"It's a ridiculous outfit; too impractical and immodest." A comment spoken with more than enough hatred to convey Vexen's feelings towards his new clothes, as well as all the others in the wardrobe.

The banters continued for a while, the most flattering compliments made by Marluxia would be shot down by Vexen with such celerity that Marluxia found himself having to hurry the next comment to fire back.

"I'm afraid there's little that can be done about your clothes. They're probably the only ones in the castle that will fit you."

"I can understand _that, _what I _don't _understand is why anyone would wear something as purposeless as this garment!"

"Of course there's a purpose for it!"

"Oh, really now?"

"Yes. The purpose for that particular piece of clothing is to inspire men to remove it from the wearer."

"...This is a whore's outfit. I'm going to change." He turned and started back for the door.

"No, wait, Vexen!"

"It's bad enough I'm out of sensible clothes, but wearing this licentious filth makes my skin crawl. Who would wear this but some gadabout with an inclination towards promiscuity?!"

"Come back!"

"I can't conduct experiments like this! It's indecent and uncomfortable and restricts movement!"

"Can't you change after we've talked a bit?"

"If I carry on this conversation I think my head will implode. You may be a scientific marvel, but your skills of conversation leave _much_ to be desired because you, Marluxia, are as boring as the people you pretend to be; a superficial, unintelligent, and dishonest flatterer."

Marluxia seethed at Vexen, rising to his full height and glaring down at the blond; both of them were shaking with anger but Marluxia was the one who was armed.

"You _dare _to insult me?! You, an ordinary teenage uke, dares to call the lord of the castle 'unintelligent'?! I am Prince Marluxia of Castle Oblivion, you impudent fool! I am _Prince Marluxia_!"

He slammed both blades into the tall grass around him and at the moment of contact there was a loud cry as a little kitten jumped into the open. Putting the quarrel aside, they stared at the kitten, a small creature with golden fur and large blue eyes, and they watched as it hissed at Marluxia and ran over to Vexen, who instinctively jumped back.

"Where did this cat come from?" Vexen asked as the cat circled around him.

"I never had a cat..."

The cat looked up at the blond with its adorable eyes and 'mew'ed sweetly. Vexen blinked.

"I don't like animals." He said to the cat before turning to walk back to the castle. The cat followed.

Marluxia stood in the garden, somewhat upset and quite speechless, before realizing that, once again, Vexen had escaped from him. He cursed violently before clanking and clamoring back to the castle.

Vexen's new room was fit for a nobleman; all the material objects were expensive antiques and priceless ornaments. When Vexen arrived at his room, he hurried to the trunk of clothes and started to pull out the garments to find something more suitable, discarding the ones he didn't like by throwing them over his shoulder. Also in the room was the cat, who actively watched Vexen scramble about to find decent clothes. The cat made loud 'meow'ing noises as Vexen refused to divert attention to it. The cat then decided to jump off the bed and walk to Vexen, only to be hit by one of the flying garments. The skirt, which had been one of Axel's favorites, was quickly torn to shreds by the frightened kitty. Only then did the teenage scientist turn to look at the golden cat. While his initial reaction was to jump and tell the (probably lice-ridden) fur ball to scat, what came out was a very calm,

"I was thinking of doing the same. There's nothing decent to wear in this place, is there?"

This was a rather strange reaction to the cat's antics, which merited a stranger response from the cat. No sooner hearing Vexen's complaint did the creature bound under the bed and began clawing at something. Irritated at the screech of the claws, Vexen looked under the bed. He saw the kitten padding against a large wooden crate. Once removed from its original place, Vexen opened the box, searched through its contents and smiled thinly; Fate and Fortune had funny ways of brightening his day.

"What the Hell are you wearing Vexen?!" Marluxia yelled as the uke came out of his room. Vexen, dressed in thick gray raiments and holding the kitten in his arms, only glared at his host and continued down the hall. The beast was stunned to see _those_ ugly things again...

Axel was an excellent lover, perfect in all ways except for his tendency to catch a cold at the first hint of a temperature decline. The only way for him to recover, the doctors had said, was for him to stay covered and warm until the symptoms passed. The problem was that clothes styled for ukes were meant to be revealing, and thus it was impossible for Axel to keep up his body heat. Since Marluxia had better intentions for his lover than for him to sit in his room, bundled in blankets, and refusing to leave the heat and comfort of the fireplace, Marluxia tried to give him new clothes for the occasion. The only clothes that were made and woven _just right _to

keep Axel well, however, were the baggiest, grayest, ugliest vestments ever to shame Marluxia's castle.

Marluxia tried to take them back.

Axel wanted to keep them.

Marluxia ordered him to throw them away.

Axel said that they were incredibly warm and comfortable and he wouldn't give them up for anything.

Marluxia hinted at replacing him as The Prince's Uke.

Axel raised his eyebrow.

Marluxia said he was serious.

Axel said that he was feeling better already, so maybe if they could move the discussion upstairs where they could have a little privacy, maybe get cozy by the fire, they could reach a better 'understanding' of each other...

Ukes of the court were notorious for getting what they wanted. To make a long story short, Axel was allowed to keep the clothes for anytime he was sick, but during the summertime they were locked in a chest under his bed.

Those ugly things were exactly the sort of blessing Vexen had been hoping for, and what Marluxia had been dreading.

'Oh well,' he thought, 'he didn't really have anything to show anyway. Maybe I'll like Vexen better now that I don't have to look at how bony he is.'

Vexen did his experiments for the rest of the night in total bliss. The kitten watched with a kind of apathy one wouldn't expect to find in a kitten.

Marluxia spent the rest of the night trying to analyze his progress and what he knew about Vexen so far. It was a very, very short list.


	6. Verbal Sparring

I'm terribly sorry that this update has taken so long, I was away on a trip last weekend and couldn't get this up and running for a bit.

Before the chapter, I hope everyone takes a look at obloquycondemed./art/KH-The-Living-Statue-80233151 by Sydney Z. Hampshire. It's one of the best pictures I've seen and I think that the artwork surpasses the story it goes to U. On that note, I'm planning to make a few slight changes to Chapter Two because of the helpful concrit she gave me on one of the scenes.

And now, without further ado: Chapter Five! (aka, the chapter where we find out a little more about the kitten.)

**Chapter Five: Verbal Sparring**

Vexen was reading on the patio with the kitten curled in his lap when Marluxia approached him.

"Is something the matter," Vexen snipped while he turned the page, "or are you just here to waste my precious time?"

'He wouldn't know the meaning of precious time' Marluxia thought, watching the kitten adjust itself on Vexen's lap. Vexen still refused to look up at him, opting to read and scratch the kitten behind the ears.

"I didn't know you'd be out here." Marluxia replied smoothly. "What are you reading?"

"Door to Darkness by Professor Xehanort. It's about the evil in the human heart and how all of our emotions are tied to a universal dark force."

Marluxia sighed, wondering why he couldn't read something normal. He would have to try and make a conversation out of it anyway.

"Doesn't that sound a little too cynical to read?"

"Isn't 'cynical' too big a word for you?"

The tension lingered through the air, Vexen refused to look at Marluxia, Marluxia refused to decapitate Vexen where he sat. The kitten purred.

"I. Was. Just. Wondering. If. You. Are. A. Cynic." Marluxia's voice sounded like a hiss of steam, probably he was popping a circuit (Vein? Vine? Whatever).

"I'm not a _cynic,_ I'm in constant pursuit of truth." Vexen said this with his own brand of haughtiness that made the villagers despise him so: people that didn't read as much as he did or think with the level of complexity that he did, _obviously_ weren't worth his time and should go about their merry way doing whatever it was that stupid people did. "I just so happen to glean quite a bit of useful information from this book to add to my storage of knowledge. I agree with the professor on many points, but there are some that I do disagree on."

"Fine. But if you're not a cynic, what are you?"

"Myself."

When he was human, Marluxia had a bad habit of slapping himself in the face when he had an 'oh god, WHY' moment. In his new form, this same occurrence was a hundred times more amusing to watch, as the poor prince forgot that his hands were razors and screamed in pain.

Now Vexen and the kitten looked up, only to see Marluxia trying to recompose himself; despite the small gash in his forehead he seemed otherwise alright.

"Vexen," he groaned, "why must you turn even the simplest of discourses into a verbal spar? I come out here to enjoy the sunlight, I see you, I try and make pleasant conversation, and then _you_ turn it into some sort of battle of wits, and I'm at my wit's end!"

The younger man was petting the kitten, and obviously not paying attention to Marluxia.

"VEXEN." The boy looked up.

"What now?"

"In polite conversation, people look at each other. You are playing with a kitten and not showing me the respect I deserve."

"There are three points that should be made about that argument." Vexen looked at the kitten, who was purring and wriggling about quite happily as it was being petted, "First, to be considered 'polite' conversation one must be 'polite'. Second, respect is earned, not deserved, and you have earned no respect from me. Third, Roxas is less of an eyesore than you are."

"...You named it Roxas?"

"It looked like a Roxas. But anyway, I would like to continue reading, so if you leave you won't have to fight my dizzying wit. Trust me, those more intelligent than you have also found it to be a formidable opponent."

"At least I'm intelligent enough to know that negative things can come from upsetting the lord of the castle, especially when he is immensely stronger than the offending party, Vexen. I deserve respect for sheltering you instead of throwing you back outside. I _deserve_ respect because I am a nobleman of the highest order, regardless of your position in your stupid little village. You might not be a farmworker but you are a _peasant_ and I am a _prince_ and you need to learn how to pay homage to those who outrank you."

Vexen shut the book and placed it on the table, giving Marluxia his full attention while his hand thoughtlessly scratched Roxas behind the ears.

"That is the second time you've referred to yourself as a prince. What in the world are you talking about when you say that?"

"I," Marluxia said, rising to his full height so that he could gleam impressively in the sunlight (the parts that hadn't rusted anyway), "am Marluxia the Eleventh, Lord of Castle Oblivion, Prince of this Realm, son of the late Queen Kairi and King Riku and grandson of former king, Lumaria."

This glorious introduction was said with profound dignity and a majestic grace that would make the aforementioned relatives weep with joy, but it drew only a _look _from Vexen that fell somewhere between confused and disturbed.

"...You're saying you're the only remaining member of the monarchy? The family ordained by Kingdom Hearts to rule over all the provinces in this land?"

"Yes."

"To lead our armies, defend our boarders, and feed our people?"

"Of course."

"But, instead of doing all that, tax the people beyond any means of fairness, create laws that suit your fancy, hire assassins to get rid of any opposition to your right to rule, marry your cousins and have deformed offspring, and set out to conquer land rightfully belonging to other nations, thus costing many people their munny and lives over your own pettiness and greed?"

"...I think you're insulting me."

Vexen nodded.

"Yes, I'm insulting you and calling your bluff. You can't be a prince, you're a rusting hunk of steel given life and a bad personality by some mad brilliant scientist. You're ahead of our time, I'll give you that, but certainly not human and certainly not a prince."

"I _am _Prince Marluxia, rightful heir to the kingdom! After my parents died, my grandfather took over rule again until I was of age to be married and crowned. Surely you've heard about these things?"

"...King Lumaria was the one who passed the Homosexual Protection Acts in his early teens, and Queen Kairi was noted for her charity towards the peasant class and her projects to increase welfare throughout the country, create hospitals, promote education for those who couldn't afford it, and establish environmental protection, but all of the projects suddenly stopped when they mysteriously lost fundings after her death."

No matter whom one was to ask, all who knew Marluxia called him a lowly bastard, just as long as he wasn't in earshot. He had never _felt _like such a bastard, hadn't been exposed to how much of a bastard he really was, until he heard the end of Vexen's sentence.

"Well...shit. I didn't know _that's_ what all the extra munny was for."

Vexen tilted his head, wanting to know what was coming next, but not really wanting to know because surely it was something he'd rather not hear.

"What 'extra munny'?"

"We-ell...when I was thirteen my mother died, and I was going through the accounts with some of the financial advisors, and there were a lot of big numbers..." Marluxia's voice sounded small, childish, like he was being reprimanded for some mischief... or had suddenly realized something terrible that was entirely his fault. "There were taxes coming in, and a lot of munny leaving the treasury, and I didn't really know where it was going and I didn't really ask so..."

"...so?" Vexen asked, terrified to know where the story would end, but certain he would be pissed by the time Marluxia was finished.

"I kinda...stopped the money from leaving the castle because I didn't think it was that important."

Vexen was not pissed. He was fricken _livid._

"YOU DID _WHAT_ NOW?!"

"Pulled the plug on the Queen's projects?" The look in Vexen's eyes was _scary. _Marluxia took a retreating step from the figure of teen fury.

"You IDIOT! You utter MORON! If what you say is true...do you know what that means?!"

"...you believe I'm who I say I am?"

"I believe you're the stupidest twit to call himself a prince! This would have been the securest, wealthiest, and happiest nation in the world had you not been so blind and greedy to take all the munny! You lived in a bloody Autocracy! All you had to do was keep the projects going and this nation would have benefited immensely! All you had to do was say the word! And what, by Kingdom Hearts, was King Lumaria saying when this happened? Where was King Riku?!"

"My father died when I was a kid, and Grandfather was King as a kind of...stand in. He was too senile to actually rule, so they gave me the decision making. _He _died when I was nineteen, and since I wasn't married or crowned, I just kept my title and lived here with my friends."

Even Roxas was shaking his head in disgust. Vexen was an inch of self-control away from breaking something, and closing.

"That munny was collected from the people to be given back to the people, you selfish and irresponsible fool! Did no one tell you that?! Did you think it was some sort of tribute to you, member of the scared royal family, blessed by Kingdom Hearts?!" Vexen ranted and paced to let the steam off more quickly. All his short life he had dreamed of living in a logical place where the government _helped _the people, only to learn that he could have been born and raised in such a place, had it not been for a rusting, has-been, prince.

"Look," Marluxia snapped, "in retrospect, it was a stupid decision. But let's see how you would have done: thirteen years old, raised in extravagance, all the munny and power in the world, no one to tell you otherwise? You would have done the same thing- spent it all on men, drink, and parties."

"I don't _care _for those sorts of things."

"Then you would have spent it on _books, _you whiny prude, and you know it. You would have built a library so vast and majestic that all the scholars in the world would flock to it just to marvel at the sight of it, you would have the finest laboratory munny could buy, stocked with all the best equipment, a team of specialists, and you would have holed yourself away in this castle and the exact same thing would have happened."

"No."

"No?"

"NO." Face quickly flushing from anger and indignity, Vexen said again, "NO. I would have realized my duty to my country and spent the munny accordingly."

"Liar." Marluxia seethed, "Everyone is looking out for number one. If you care about your country so much, tell me: what have the people in this country ever done for you? You've been engaged to some scumbag for your family's dignity, I was engaged to my own cousin to preserve my bloodline. You can try and tell yourself that you would have been nobler, but you know that you would have been in that library, reading your life away, just like I had my lovers and parties. I'm sure that whoever wrote that book knows it too- humans don't do the right thing when they're presented with the opportunity fulfill their own wants."

Vexen held Door to Darkness close to him, knowing that Professor Xehanort would probably cover that in the next chapter.

"That body of yours, this steel-flower contraption, what was that? Some frivolous desire for immortality?"

"Believe that if you want, I guess."

They allowed each other a moment of silent contemplation, the kindest thing they'd offered each other since they met.

"There really," Vexen thought aloud, "isn't anything else to the human heart but darkness, is there?"

Marluxia shrugged his hefty metal shoulders and said, "I guess we don't really need our hearts. They just make us selfish."

Vexen took little Roxas up in arms and walked back in the castle. Marluxia let him go.

Both of them spent the night coiled in their own negative thoughts.

Marluxia: Not only burdened by the swift passage of time, but pierced by a sick guilt for his dead mother's wishes and the true power and influences of his decisions.

Vexen: Burning with questions anew about the history of Castle Oblivion. Ashamed that, deep down, he would have turned his back on thousands of people for his books. But also annoyed, that a fool of a man/machine was able to read him so well. He thought he guarded himself better than that.

Both of them kept quiet in the night, thinking their separate thoughts but having one in common. It was a faint notion that would evaporate from their memories in the morning, but would lay dormant in their subconsciousness until it was ready to resurface.

They were both selfish bastards.

It wasn't much, but it was something they had in common.

* * *

If anyone else has concrit for me, feel free to share. I won't bite. Really.


	7. Courting

I once again apologize for posting this up so late. While I'm here, I should also apologize in advance for any lateness as far as my up-and-coming chapters go, because RL is getting me down with homework and Advanced Placement exams, and my infantile original characters are keeping me up day and night, craving attention. Plus, I'm trying to learn a new language with the internet as my guide and...Marching Band is starting up soon. Summer vacation will mean swifter updates, I promise.

All excuses aside folks, if I could sit at my computer and do nothing but type out stories, fanfiction or otherwise, I would, happily, but I have to go to school and do homework and sleep (sometimes).

I do not own Kingdom Hearts but proudly present the following chapter anyway.

I blame the crack!bunnies for this. When your eyes pop out from the blatent OOC...it was the crack!bunnies.

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Courting**

After the talk they had, Marluxia believed that he should attempt the actual courting process, presenting Vexen with gifts, adding elements of flirtation to their discussions and the like.

By the end of it, Marluxia felt he should be applauded at least for his determination...

**First Attempt: All disasters stem from good intentions**

The dear prince started the day with a reasonable amount of hope and a plethora of schemes just waiting to be used. Or, at least he _would _if he could just use his body and seductive charm to his advantage in this terrible plight of wooing a boy that was obviously not up to Marluxia's standards _anyway_ and, quite frankly, did not want to be wooed by man or machine.

On the bright side, Vexen had been giving him _looks _lately. Problem was, they were most certainly conveying secret desires to dissect him on a metal slab, picking him apart and playing with his insides until he sated his lust for knowledge, no matter how gruesome or arcane. Marluxia didn't like those looks to say the least. He preferred the looks that conveyed a powerful, consuming lust for his flawless body, but since that body was nowhere to be found, Marluxia just resigned to find another way to convince Vexen to fall for him.

So he thought, for a very _very _long time. Contrary to certain stereotypes surrounding princes, Marluxia wasn't a total idiot and actually enjoyed planning and cerebrating from time to time, but the challenge that called itself 'Vexen' yielded little useful personal information and thus, was hard to give a gift for.

And then, like a light from above, like a solitary ray from the blessed Kingdom Hearts, an idea came to Marluxia. A damn good one at that. Feeling quite pleased with himself, he ran off to find Vexen.

"Can I take the blindfold off?"

"Not yet. Have patience, my dear Vexen, I have something to give you."

Surprisingly compliant and more than a bit intrigued, Vexen followed his host down the hallway, resting a hand against one of the metal plates to guide him. Marluxia led him into a room, dark and dusty from the absence of its owner.

"Wait here, and keep the blindfold on." When he was sure Vexen wouldn't sneak a peak, Marluxia tore down the curtains with a majestic swipe of his blade and sunlight streamed in.

To Vexen he said, hiding his own anticipation, "Okay, you can take it off."

And what Vexen saw astounded him.

Books.

Yes books. Mountains of books, oceans of books, piles upon piles of books, more books than Vexen had ever hoped to see in his life. He felt weak in the knees, overcome by exuberance, overjoyed by the sight of musty, rotting tomes reeking of age (thus wisdom, for books that last that long must be full of wisdom).

"So," Marluxia said, poised elegantly and magnificently, "do you like it?"

Vexen nodded dumbly.

"It was the library of my late fiancée, Duchess Larxene de Sade. But seeing as she won't be needing it anymore, I would like to give this entire room to you."

Not questioning the sudden spurt of generosity, Vexen dashed into the maze of shelves without a word.

Marluxia smiled. Well, he thought, that was easy. It was a good thing he remembered about Larxene's private library, it was easy to forget about seeing as it was her 'secret' little sanctuary that he never intruded on. She would spend hours, even days, holed up in the room; reading all the books she bought and received from various spots in the world. Then Marluxia paused in thought. He had overheard some servants in passing that there was a great chunk of books that sounded suspiciously like romances. Marluxia sighed. Women. But it was no matter; Larxene was a smart girl, she would have probably kept something on philosophy somewhere for Vexen to sink his teeth into.

Then he was hit in the back of the head.

He turned around and was hit in the head again, by a rather heavy leather bound book.

"What the fu-" and he was hit again.

Vexen, eyes once more alight with cold fury, stood beside a pile of heavy looking books, aiming the next between Marluxia's eyes.

"You're the sickest bastard I've ever known!" Vexen spat, hurling the book at Marluxia.

Marluxia deflected it. "What did I do?!" he asked helplessly as Vexen threw them rapid fire.

"Forgive me for doubting your true character, prince of swine! Idol of idiot-worshipers!"

"What the fuck did I _do_?"

"Th-these _books! _No, they can't be called _books_ they're...they're..."

Marluxia looked down at one of the open volumes Vexen had hit his head with. The page it opened to was an illustration. Of...things...

A series of revelations came to Marluxia in short succession. Firstly, he knew why Larxene didn't let anyone else in her library. Second, why she spent so much time in there. Third, why all the servants in the castle coveted and fought tooth and claw over a chance to dust it.

Marluxia stated calmly, "It's porn." Then, realizing the _other_ implications of that, namely that Vexen suffered from a horrible misunderstanding, Marluxia wailed, "don't tell me _all_ of it is..."

"Yes. Yes it is. It's a collection of filth, promiscuity, debauchery, and all things immoral."

Marluxia looked down at the illustrations again. Then looked up at Vexen.

"Graphic, yes, but immoral? It's the desire to procreate with a few whips and chains. Nothing wrong with it."

"I'm _homosexual_. I have no desire to procreate."

"Yes, fine, but it's the sex instinct and Larxene had hormones to spare."

Vexen raised an inquisitive eyebrow but kept his expression at I'm-going-to-be-sick. "So you condone this sort of thing?"

"What, that my cousin kept a secret porn stash in my castle? Why not? We did worse on a regular basis."

"..."

"Of course, that's _nothing_ compared to what I did with some of the men, my courtiers especially..."

"Whose room am I sleeping in?" Vexen asked suddenly.

"...Axel's, one of the former ukes of the court, and a total bastard..."

Vexen turned around and left with alarming speed. "Where are you going?" Marluxia called.

"To wash my sheets and take a bath! I can't believe... I was _sleeping_ in...!"

The door went _thud_ and Marluxia stood in silence.

He thought.

He thought some more.

"...Dammit..."

**Interlude for plotting and...stuff...**

After the 'library incident', Marluxia figured that he would have to exercise caution in trying to get back into Vexen's good graces (or tolerated-but-not-especially-liked graces, which would be more accurate). He stopped bothering Vexen for a few days, let him use his lab in peace, and spent most of his time plotting in the master bedroom, which was still off-limits to Vexen. His room would probably stay off limits to Vexen, at least until he was human again.

Marluxia paused in thought. The two of them would probably have to get married at the end the whole ordeal, and that would make Vexen his Court Uke. Officially. That meant that they would have to share a room, or at least stay in rooms relatively close to each other. He tossed the thought around for a bit. He and Vexen would be married. That meant, to preserve image, he couldn't have sex with other men, unless he did it discreetly and without getting caught. It also meant he would have to have sex with Vexen. Which...wasn't supposed to seem like a big deal, but _felt_ like a big deal. He'd had sex before. Lots of sex. Probably more sex than deemed healthy for even a twenty-one year old male. But somehow, sex with Vexen seemed...awkward.

He tried to imagine it. It would be their wedding night, he would be back in his human body, Vexen would be in his arms, wearing a white dress, a veil and, more likely than not, a scowl. Marluxia would lay him down reverently on the bed and Vexen would probably edge away from him, maybe even light a candle, pull out a book and start _reading_ for all he knew...but the spell was that Vexen had to fall in love with him, so he would have to be at least a _little_ eager to get into bed with the object of his desire, right? Assuming that he couldn't find anywhere in his dress to hide reading material, there would be foreplay and the seductive removal of clothing... if Vexen even knew what either _meant_. The whole thing seemed more problematic than enjoyable, really. He cursed Namine from the depths of his soul- the psychotic little witch probably thought it would 'teach him a lesson' in some form or another to hand his bed over to a sickly pale asexual. Marluxia wondered if he should even bother thinking up a differnt way to win him over.

_'__'But__,_" a voice in his memory reminded him,_ "__if at the end of a hundred years, you do not open your heart to love, the flower will die and so will you. This is the burden you must bear, to live as a beast for acting like a beast. You must change for the better, or perish for your arrogance"_

Well...maybe he could give it another shot...

Everyone liked compliments...right?

**Attempt Two: Wrong.**

"For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me."

"What are you babbling about Marluxia?" Vexen looked up from his plate disinterestedly (All there was to eat in the castle was fruit from the gardens, and Vexen was getting tired of it, but that didn't mean he was going to resort to eating whatever Roxas dragged in...yet...)

"What? Weren't you talking to me?"

"In fact, no."

"Then please start."

"Alright," Vexen sighed, moving the cutlery about, "I suppose I can spare a word for you," he stood abruptly, "Goodbye."

"You're not supposed to do that!"

**A few hours later:**

Vexen peered up from his book to see Marluxia sitting and watching him.

"Time for more troublesome conversation, Marluxia? I really wanted to fill my page quota today."

"Now, now, Vexen, don't mind me, I was just thinking."

Vexen snorted. "That's a first, isn't it?"

"Don't be so bitter, I was merely thinking about you."

This actually made him bristle instead of blush, as Marluxia had hoped.

"Thinking what of me?" he inquired.

"How much like a book you are." Marluxia made sure to add a tone of mystery to his words.

"What kind of book?"

"A dictionary," Marluxia said nonchalantly, "because you add meaning to my life."

Vexen shut his book slowly, and recited dully,

"Imbecile: noun- Definition one, a stupid or silly person; a dolt. Definition two, someone well below par in mental acumen. See: Marluxia."

And then he walked off.

Marluxia should have learned by then but...

**Thirty minutes later:**

"Well, here I am, what are your other two wishes?"

"A dissection table and a handsaw."

**Five minutes later:**

"Do you have an extra heart? Mine seems to have been stolen."

"The dissection offer still stands Marluxia."

**Sooner than Vexen would have liked:**

"Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too."

"I've just noticed how you refuse to take notice that the less I notice you the more work I get done, so here's notice not to bother me _again. _Get lost."

**Immediately after:**

"Are you always this cute or did you have to work at it?"

"What part of 'get lost' is so hard to comprehend?!"

"If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"

"YES!"

This lasted for the rest of the day, until Vexen stormed off to his room. This was somewhat fortunate for Marluxia, who had run out of lines, terrible as they were.

**Attempt three: Music tames the Savage Beast Uke:**

Let it not be said that Marluxia had no taste in the arts. Like any nobleman of stature, he was taught to play a variety of musical instruments: the flute, harpsichord, and violin. They proved effective in the chase when the persons in question were of an artistic disposition, but Marluxia figured that sweet sounding music was likely to be appreciated by all sorts. After all, there was nothing to liberate the kind and gentle disposition lying dormant inside of all ukes like the sweet sound of music. But alas, his scythes proved themselves a nuisance once more as they made playing the aforementioned instruments somewhat more difficult than he remembered.

"Well," he said as he gazed forlornly at the corpse of a Stradivarius, "I could always try to serenade him."

**Later that Night...**

Marluxia stood beneath Vexen's window, feeling rather confident in his voice after a few hours of practice. A serenade from the gardens was perhaps a bit cliché, but desperate times, desperate measures and all of that.

Light radiated from Vexen's window, and Marluxia glimpsed the slim silhouette of his would-be-conquest. Marluxia nodded to himself, there was absolutely _nothing_ that would thwart him this time around. At worst, Vexen would just tell him to shut up and maybe throw something for emphasis. But no! _This_, without a doubt, would certainly _work..._

**Meanwhile in Vexen's room:**

Having developed a strange understanding with Roxas the cat, Vexen put a finger to his lips for silence, knowing Roxas would sit still and watch. Then, with care and dexterity, Vexen lifted a glass vial with a pair of tongs and gently poured the chemicals into another mixture. His face was tightly set with concentration. As they were, the chemicals were at a highly reactive state and needed a stabilizing chemical to calm the reaction. Until Vexen added that chemical any disturbance, say, temperature fluctuations or loud noises, would probably blow the place up.

He reached for the stabilizer, carefully watching the violate chemicals fizz and smoke in their vial. With the chemicals in hand, he held the stabilizing chemicals over the batch when suddenly,

_"WHEN YOU WALK AWAY, YOU DON'T HEAR ME SAY, PLEASE, OH BABY, DON'T GO, SIMPLE AND CLEAN IS THE WAY THAT YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL TONIGHT, IT'S HARD TO LET IT..."_

KABOOM!

**Afterwards:**

"How was I supposed to know you were messing with sound sensitive chemicals?! Didn't you quarantine the servant's quarters for that exact reason?"

"There are experiments in progress down there that _this_ one might have jeopardized!"

"Then isn't that _your_ fault?"

"...I'm just not talking to you anymore, you're impossible."

"Very mature Vexen, very mature. It was just a misunderstanding..."

"I'll call it a 'misunderstanding' when the _burn wounds_ have healed! It's a wonder Roxas and I made it out alive! And what, by all things logical, were you doing _singing_ outside of my goddamn _window?!_"

"Trying to sere-... uh...practice!"

Roxas, who was only slightly singed by the explosion, was busy chasing a mouse down the hall. He turned to watch the older men argue, then rolled his eyes and pounced after the rodent. Those two, he thought glumly, were never going to get it.

"...look, I'll give you another room. Larxene's maybe, or another uke's..."

"_Still_ not talking to you."


	8. Meanwhile in the Village

Hi guys, I'm baaaaack. Sorry for the wait and the exceptionally short chapter, I'm just trying to get back in the groove of things. On another word document I'm working on the next chapter, which will have our beloved protagonists up to their usual hijinks. It should be fun, I've been looking forward to writing the next chapter for...two years? Wow, time flies by when you forget about projects. .

Anyway, thanks so much to SunChildRay for the good ol' butt-kicking when I needed it. If anyone else feels like giving me a kick, the address is right on my profile. Go at it!

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the little town Vexen had left, things were running as smoothly as they ever did. Of course, Mayor Ansem was worried sick about his son and during the first few days sent out search parties, but now he was all but presumed dead and Ansem had taken it upon himself to mourn for his son and pray for his safe return. The villagers did not voice their relief over having the town oddball disposed of and out of their hair. Sure, it was tragic that he died so young, but one would have to think- what kind of man would he have grown up to be, so concerned with all that scientific stuff? There was no good to come of high intellect, the people were certain of that, and an entire village of mostly-honest, mostly-hard-working people couldn't be wrong, right?

In any case, there were four individuals who really cared that Vexen was missing. The first was, as stated, Ansem the Wise. Two of them were Xigbar and Xaldin, who upon returning with their little girl, Xion, were devastated to hear that their dear friend was lost in the wilderness and potentially dead. And the final person who actually gave a shit over the whole matter, though for more sinister reasons, was sitting in the town bar taking a stiff drink.

"He'll turn up eventually," one of the uke-waiters, a cute young man named Demyx said to a monsieur Luxord Caviera, "I'm sure he's about ready to crack by now."

"Unless he's dead," Luxord grumbled, taking another swig of his poison of choice, "but use your pretty little head to think about it for a moment. Assuming he's still alive, which is a stretch, if he hasn't come back by now that probably means he's surviving well enough. But damn it all, he wasn't supposed to last two days out there, and here it's been two weeks!"

"Maybe he's just lucky. Or, is there a town nearby?"

"None in walking distance, and besides, he probably wouldn't know the way without a beaten path."

"Well then," Demyx said, thinking aloud, "if we think he's still alive, why not go looking for him?"

Luxord looked up at him with a patronizing expression.

"Love," he said calmly, "did ever cross your little mind that I might have, I don't know _done that already?!_ For the past _week_ I've been searching for that good-for-nothing brat, and I've come up with nothing. I can't very well comb the entire forest in this lifetime, you know."

Demyx frowned. "But you've never taken _me_ along with you. I know the forest really well, I keep telling you that I'd be able to find him if you'd give me a chance."

"For the last time, Demyx, no. What kind of barbarian would the townspeople see me as if I took an innocent little uke with me into the forest? You'd best stay here, in the bar, waiting the nice gentlemen."

"…Luxord," Demyx said, "the people here already think you're a barbarian."

"Be that as it may, no, I'm not taking you. But I will organize another search-party."

"It's best to travel in smaller groups in that forest," Demyx noted, "because it's easy to get separated. But when were you thinking about going?"

"Possibly tonight, or early in the morning, so I'm sorry I won't be able to give you the pleasure of my company."

Demyx smiled.

"I wouldn't go out tonight or tomorrow." He said, peering out the window.

"Why ever not?" Luxord said with a laugh, "now's a good a time as any."

"Outside, those are cumulonimbus clouds forming, they precede thunderstorms."

"…Love, stick to words you can understand. Small words. Talking high like Vexen is improper for a good little uke like you. No uke has ever impressed a man with ridiculous.."

A roll of thunder was heard from the distance, and Luxord's jaw dropped a little.

"Nooow can I come with you?" Demyx asked with a grin.

"I'll…consider it."

"Great!" Demyx said, planting a kiss on Luxord's lips. "Well, I've got to get back to work. We'll go the day after tomorrow, and I'll help you find him." He gave Luxord a sly wink, "Don't worry Lux, we'll be rich soon. Filthy rich."

Mr. Caviera smiled at that prospect. "Oh yes," he said" That's always something to look forward to.


End file.
